Tags: Disrespect, disagreement, poor upbringing, Christian values, family discipline, respect for authority
In the fast-paced world we live in today, disagreements are inevitable. From family conversations to workplace meetings, church discussions to community decisions—people will always have different perspectives. But have you noticed how quickly a simple difference of opinion can turn ugly, harsh, and disrespectful? Some think disagreement itself is disrespectful—but the truth, according to God’s Word and simple common sense, is that disrespect is not caused by disagreement—it is caused by poor upbringing.
A well-bred man or woman can strongly disagree yet remain honorable, courteous, and dignified. On the other hand, someone poorly trained at home, lacking in biblical discipline, or uncorrected in youth will easily let pride, harsh words, and a rebellious attitude spill out at the slightest contradiction. Let us take this matter seriously, for it affects our families, churches, and our nation’s moral fiber.
In this blog, we will examine:
- The Biblical Foundation of Respect
- Why Disagreement is Natural but Disrespect is Learned
- How Poor Upbringing Feeds Disrespect
- Raising a Generation that Honors God and Respects Authority
- Practical Steps to Restore Respect in Our Homes and Churches
May this discussion convict and encourage us all to train up the next generation in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4 KJV).
1. The Biblical Foundation of Respect
God’s Word is clear: respect is not optional; it is commanded. The Bible says:
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” (Exodus 20:12 KJV)
This commandment is so vital that it is repeated throughout Scripture (Ephesians 6:1-3; Deuteronomy 5:16). Respect for parents is the seedbed of all other forms of respect—toward teachers, elders, employers, government leaders, and spiritual authorities.
The apostle Peter also wrote,
“Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.” (1 Peter 2:17 KJV)
Here, we see that honor is owed even to rulers we may not agree with. It does not mean blind agreement with sin or wickedness—but it does mean that in speech and action, we do not stoop to insult, gossip, or rebellion. The Lord Jesus Himself showed this when He stood before Pilate. He did not agree with Pilate’s unjust decision, but He spoke with truth and calm dignity (John 18:33-37 KJV).
A person grounded in the fear of God will know how to stand firm in truth yet speak with grace. The problem today is not so much that people disagree—it’s that they never learned how to disagree with respect.
2. Disagreement is Natural, But Disrespect is Learned
There will always be a clash of ideas. Even godly men of old disagreed. Paul and Barnabas had a “sharp contention” over John Mark (Acts 15:36-41 KJV). Peter and Paul clashed publicly over hypocrisy (Galatians 2:11-14 KJV). But notice—these were disagreements rooted in zeal for the Gospel, not selfish pride. And while the disagreements were strong, they did not turn into filthy speech or rebellion. The apostles respected each other’s labor and authority under Christ.
Disagreement is often the birthplace of progress when handled with maturity. Iron sharpeneth iron (Proverbs 27:17 KJV). It is disrespect that ruins families, friendships, and churches—not disagreement itself.
So where does this poison come from? Why do young people today speak rudely to parents, answer back at pastors, scorn teachers, and mock elders online? It is not because they have questions or different views. It is because they were never taught the fear of the Lord and the respect due to others.
3. How Poor Upbringing Feeds Disrespect
The Bible says,
“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15 KJV)
Modern society hates this truth. Many parents today are too busy, too guilty, or too “modern” to discipline their children. They think giving freedom to speak any way they want is a virtue. They do not check backtalk, they laugh at disobedience, they excuse rebellion. When a child’s foolishness is not corrected, it grows roots.
A child left undisciplined becomes an adult who despises authority. The Bible warns:
“A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” (Proverbs 29:15 KJV)
When children are left to screens, bad company, ungodly entertainment, and an environment where they are not taught to say “Please,” “Thank you,” and “Sorry,” they become ill-mannered. When they are not made to respect father and mother, they will never respect teachers, pastors, or leaders. It is a disease that spreads through the home into the church and society.
We must not be surprised that disrespect runs rampant in politics, media, and even pulpits today. It is not because people think differently—it is because they were never trained to speak wisely, humbly, and with reverence for God’s order.
4. Raising a Generation that Honors God and Respects Authority
What is the solution? More rules? More government? No. The solution is in the home.
Fathers and mothers must take responsibility. The Bible commands fathers to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4 KJV). This means:
- Teaching them the Word of God daily.
- Correcting disobedience firmly but lovingly.
- Modeling respect in your own words and actions.
- Not allowing sarcasm, foul speech, or mocking tones.
- Teaching them to honor church leaders, elders, and civil authorities.
It is not enough to send children to Sunday School or Christian school. The real classroom is the dinner table, the living room, and every moment when a child observes how parents talk to each other, to their elders, to their pastor, and to government authorities.
When children see parents gossiping about the pastor or mocking the government, what do you think they learn? They learn to scorn authority. They learn that rebellion is funny. They learn that if they disagree, they can lash out without thought.
5. Practical Steps to Restore Respect in Our Homes and Churches
If you are a parent, teacher, or church leader burdened by the lack of respect in this generation, do not lose hope. God’s Word has practical answers.
a) Start with Your Own Example
Paul told Timothy:
“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12 KJV)
Adults must lead the way. We must watch our words. Are we respectful when we disagree with each other in church meetings? Do we speak of others kindly, even when we disagree? Do our children see us pray for our leaders instead of cursing them?
b) Reinforce Respect in Discipline
Do not be afraid to correct disrespect. Do not let it pass “just this once.” Correction must be early, consistent, and loving. Praise good manners. Correct rude answers. Teach children how to disagree respectfully—by asking questions, listening well, and using polite words.
c) Teach the Fear of the Lord
The real root of respect is the fear of God.
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Proverbs 1:7 KJV)
When young people fear the Lord, they understand that all authority is ultimately from God. They know that to rebel without cause is to rebel against the One who ordains parents, pastors, teachers, and government. The home must be a place of prayer, Bible reading, and worship so that children grow up conscious of God’s eyes upon them.
d) Be Consistent in Church and Community
Church discipline is biblical. If someone in the church consistently sows discord and disrespect, it must be addressed in love but with firmness. Do not allow a spirit of scorn to poison the flock. Teach your congregation to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15 KJV). Train them to disagree without dishonor.
e) Pray for a Revival of Respect
This is more than a human effort—it is a spiritual battle. The spirit of rebellion is rampant because Satan knows a rebellious generation is a lost generation. Let us pray that God would turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers (Malachi 4:6 KJV).
Conclusion: Disagreement with Honor
In a world of constant conflict, may we raise a generation who knows how to stand for truth without being rude, how to disagree without dishonor, and how to respect others even when opinions clash. This is possible—not through new trends or worldly wisdom, but through old-fashioned biblical parenting and church teaching.
If you see disrespect rising in your home or church, ask the Lord to help you strengthen the walls of training, discipline, and example. Disagreement will always be part of life, but disrespect does not have to be. Let us teach our children to fear the Lord, honor their parents, respect authority, and speak kindly. In doing so, we honor the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, who stood before rulers, answered His accusers, and yet never sinned with His tongue.
May God help our families, churches, and nation to remember: Disagreement does not cause disrespect—poor upbringing does. Let us do our part to train up a generation that honors God by respecting others.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 KJV)
For more biblical resources and practical guides for Christian living, visit www.cpadavao.com.
Let us stand together for truth—and for respect.
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